Sister Tattoos (Part 2)

Four years ago, Melinda and I got sister tattoos as part of our caregiver journey. I wrote about it here. Back then, we marked our hard journey; etched it on our bodies as a way to memorialize the love between Mom and Dad. Dementia was taking its toll and Dad was a weary knight in shining armor, caring for his beloved. We were assisting both of them and the tattoo was part of our processing. Putting a pin in it, literally, to show this is where we stand. On this Great Love, no matter how long this journey would last.

Four years later, we are in an unexpected place as well as a much anticipated one. Two places at once, intertwined with our hearts. Dementia was a vine, growing over years, constricting our hearts until they cracked. Then, with Dad’s fall, came a sudden hammer blow, that shattered our hearts to pieces. We are trying climbing out of this grief hole, slowly. Clawing our way towards the light and joy. Some days are more successful than others.

At the beginning of 2025, I saw on Instagram that our fabulous tattoo artist, Jaycee Shine, opened her books. I signed us up. Unbeknownst to me, Melinda had also reached out for an appointment. It was time to add some closure to our journey. Once we realized we both had the same idea, we coordinated a date and met with Jaycee to discuss our thoughts about design.

This week we added more ink to our canvas and completed our garden scene. We picked a monarch butterfly for Mom. During her last years in the garden, she would point at every butterfly out there. She loved to watch them move from flower to flower. She would smile and jabber with delight. A butterfly also represents her personality. Drawn to the brightness of others. Flowing with the wind. Pollenating by sprinkling God everywhere she went. Drawing her sustenance from finding the good in the people around her.

For Dad, we chose a humming bird. It was hard to decide for him because pretty much everything in nature reminds us of him. It was hard to pick. But way hummingbirds flit from place to place, is just like Dad, always on his way to somewhere. His constant movement, mimicked their wings beating so fast you can’t see them. Yet, they can hover in one place and move in pretty much any direction. Small but mighty. Drawn to flowers of all kinds. And very entertaining to watch, as they zip around. Hard to keep up with. Dad was all those things.

The addition to our first sister tattoo, includes Mom, the monarch, flying skyward. Dad, the hummingbird, is hovering over the daffodil, Mom’s flower. Again, I have added watercolor to mine and Melinda’s is black and white, as is our usual pattern.

This time was better, in that we didn’t have to figure out how to tell Dad. In fact, we laughed about how nervous we were with the first one. Women in our 50s, afraid to tell our Dad in his 80s about our tattoos. We knew he struggled to understand what had come over his grandkids when they all started to get tattoos. He chalked that up to a younger generation. But I am pretty sure he thought his middle-aged daughters had lost our minds.

Instead of telling him outright, I sent him a link to the blog I wrote. I was hoping that since it was a tribute to he and Mom that he might have been touched. After he read it, he asked, “Did you put this on your blog that all my friends read?” When I answered in the affirmative, he just nodded and said, “Oh. Ok.” When he saw the tattoos, he said they looked nice. I do think it threw him some that we would draw their story permanently upon our bodies, but I also think he was moved by the sentiment that of all the things we could have chosen it was love that made the cut. Love that he and Mom demonstrated in front of our eyes.

Our family was by no means perfect. We had our disagreements and did not all see eye to eye, but the foundation was love. And our body art is a tribute to that fact. We miss them both individually. Terribly. But we also miss the two of them together and the love they shared with us. Our new tattoos symbolize each of them, but also their impact together as part of the whole.

The day we got them, we also got a couple of winks from Mom and Dad. Song lyrics, butterflies, etc… We taking that to mean they are saying they approve of our choices. We might be kidding ourselves. However, in this new season of life without them, the pictures on our ankles hold them near to every step we take. That is the whole point of putting them there. It feels like we are honoring them by looking at them every day with gratitude. So much love, now carved upon us, so we can carry it forward into becoming the matriarchs they would want us to be.

Shout out to our tattoo artist Jaycee. She is so talented. Follow her on Instagram…@Jayceeshinetattoos. And also follow the shop of all female tattoo artists @justanotherhitw. www.justanotherholeinthewall.com They are in Pendleton SC and well worth the drive!